Contd from ‘Marriage is a private affair’
Monday, June 12, 2006
The girl’s mother, brother, and middle sister came yesterday. How quickly they finished everything. Just Now the mother was telling another woman that everyone praised it, noone said it was not good. The women said,” How can one say anything? One can not say either good or bad.”
That day I was tempted to advise them not to hurry on the matters of the daughter’s marriage. But my experience with my cousin’s marriage perhaps had made me wiser not to comment anything in other’s matters.
More importantly, in case of arranged marriage sorted out by the parents only – isn’t there a greater risk of dissatisfaction later? No girl is trained nowadays to revere her man like the god; the feminist approach of teaching and learning has instilled a different value on man-woman relationship. The guardians feel so much pressure for their grown-up girls that they find it better to make the decision as soon as possible.
It’s strange that everyone is worried about their false-prestige, while in fact, none has any prestige at all. I can understand these things, as I myself was caught in such foolish cycle once. What’s the solution then? Finding a suitable mate should the resposibilty of the individual, just like finding a suitable career.
If in case, the boy or the girl has made his/her career, and wants to settle down and still hasn’t found a mate, then others, including the parents, may come to help. The girls, too, should take active role in the decision of their marriage, rather than later cursing their guardians later when they are not satisfied.
One day, in our class, a teacher was discussing on a feminist writer, Simon de Beauvre. Nowadays, I commented, males are more interested in women’s liberation than the females themselves, at least while giving sermons. The females only wail, that they are not treated equally.
He said that, though scientifically it has been proved that females can do everything the males can do, still men are oppressing the women in the society. He asked why the most philosophers, writers, and scientists of the past are only males. Why don’t men give equal opportunity to the women?I discussed with the teacher fiercely. My point was it’s the women themselves, who are responsible for their suffering, especially the educated ones. I asked him why men should give their power to others. If the women are really capable, they should fight for their cause and snatch the power from the men.
He said to me, “your values are very orthodox, you’ll learn later when you finish the course.” We friends laughed at this remark he made, we, some senior students have classified some teachers as bhai(kid) sirs! Unless the oppressed people themselves, whether black, ethnic, or the women, instead of cursing the oppressor, fight for their rights and be ready to suffer for the price of dignity, there can be no true liberation.
In this regard I agree with the Maoists that sometimes one has to take up a weapon to assert one’s rights. Of course, the Maoists, made a grave ideological mistake by taking up arms for retaliation and personal vengeance. And we can use anything as a weapon for our self-defence, not only the arms.
Jean Paul Sarte, the great existentialist philosopher and writer in his essay “Why Write?”, holds the view: “ One does not write for slaves…it is not enough to defend them with the pen. A day comes when the pen is forced to stop, and the writer must then take up arms.”
5 Responses to “‘One does not write for slaves…’”
Boink Blogs, on November 3rd, 2007 at 1:52 pm Said: Edit […] is a private affair’ Part II DIVAS put an intriguing blog post on â??Marriage is a private affairâ?? Part IIHere’s a […]
www.learnhypnosiseasily.info » ‘Marriage is a private affair’ Part II, on November 4th, 2007 at 3:02 am Said:
[…] DIVAS placed an interesting blog post on â??Marriage is a private affairâ?? Part II.Here’s a brief overview:No girl is trained nowadays to revere her man like the god; the feminist approach of teaching and learning has instilled a different value on man-woman relationship. The guardians feel so much pressure for their grown-up girls that they … […]
Vanadiaum, on November 4th, 2007 at 9:27 am Said:
An interesting blog as always.
There are only two blogs I read regularily, yours and http://www.thethoughtsalesman.com
Yours usually seems to be more cerebral, but the thought salesman is usually more about practivle issues, I think it’d be worth it to check him out