A desperate old man Devi Prasad Regmi slapped Jhala Nath Khanal a few months ago for not delivering the constitution on time as they had promised. However, people say that Devi’s slap turned out to be a blessing in disguise for Jhallunath. For, a few days after getting the smack on his chick, Jhallu got what he’d been yearning for years. Jhallu becomes the prime minister of Nepal. And look, how popular Jhallu has become worldwide, as this news heading says: Slapped politician, Jhalanath Khanal, is new Nepal PM. hahaha..
People say that Nepal’s politicians are not only one of the most corrupt but also the most nirlajja or shameless ones. As one former Prime Minister Krishna Prasad Bhattarai famously said, the mantra for Nepali politicians is what they say it in Sanskrit: ek lajjam parityajya sarbatra bijayi bhawet, or just shed off all your shames and you will conquer the world. Suddenly, the politicians in Nepal have turned bold. hey’re taking a calculated risk: leaving behind their luxury vehicles and security guards, you’d see them walking alone on the road fearlessly, so that someone would suddenly crop up from a corner and smack on their cheeks. Boorchokey..
So, the next fortunate one turns out to be the Maoist politicians, Comrade Jhakku Prasad Subedi. Jhakku the Revolutionary was walking on the road fearlessly still musing over how great he was to beat former boka Prime Minister Madhav Nepal in the Constituent Assembly election. Suddenly, a tea-seller Devkota invites Comrade Jhakku for a cup of free tea. However, that foolish Devkota turns out to be a very sly reactionary. Otherwise, how dare he ask questions to Comrade Jhakku the Revolutionary by luring him for a cup of free tea?
Devkota was not among the learned intellectuals from Kathmandu who have also shed all their lajja or shame and would not mind licking the boots of the corrupt politicians. Devkota hails from a village in the Western Nepal, the Maoist stronghold of Gorkha. So, intead of asking any dialectic, political or philosophical question, he asked Comrade Jhakku what to do when the plough gets stuck on a pebble and the bull refuse to pull it. Although a communist turned noveau riches residing in Kathmandu, Mr. Jhakku also hails from a village in Western Nepal. Hence, prompt came his answer: ‘Then you pull the bull’s tail and twist it which would make him move further.’ But lo…instead of marveling at Comrade Jhakku’s proletarian wit, that fool bourgeois Devkota suddenly got enraged. ‘If you pulled the bull’s tail and twist it, he’ll get very angry, and will give you a back kick like this’ retorted Devkota and slapped Jhakku on his both cheeks.
And look, instead of retaliating, Comrade Jhakku kept smiling his sweet smile. For, he knew that he is even more fortunate than Jhallu. Jhallu got a slap on his one chick that made him the prime minster. Similarly, the madhesi people of terai chased their leader Upendra Yadav for not delivering the constitution on time. And lo, Upendra also becomes the Vice Premier. Now, guess what Jhakku, who’s got smacked on his both cheeks is expecting….. Jhakku must be secretly expecting no less that the post of the President of New Nepal itself.
There’re still two more weeks when the present Constituent Assembly expires. But, Jhallu the Prime Minister has filed for the extension of the CA by one more year and the Maoists support him. And the season of strikes and Nepal Bandha has also begun. And people are increasingly enjoying unemployment and the double digit inflation. So, everyone is secretly expecting that more and more politicians would be fortunate enough to get slapped by the commoners.
However, this blogger does not wish it secretly anymore. He wishes it openly, and even calls on the foolish people of Nepal to beat up the politicians wherever they are found. Not only the politician, beat up everyone who holds a public post. Let this be clear, if you fail to deliver the new constitution within two weeks, you deserve to be ruthlessly beaten up like they beat the pickpockets.
Promulgate the constitution before Jestha 14 deadline, no matter how rudimentary or defective it may be. No constitution in the world is drafted perfectly. You have to make accommodations later as the situation demands. Therefore, promulgate the constitution within the stipulated time frame, I don’t care for the details. If the present Constituent Assembly fails to promulgate the new constitution in time as promised, let anyone or any group whether they’re the Maoists, the Royalists, the Army, or the President Rambaran promulgate it. I would support anyone or any group who promulgates the New Nepal Constitution irrespective of their political ideologies. No more Bandha. No more Chutiyagiri. No more limbo and no more mumbo jumbo. I want the new constitution within Jestha 14, 2068 B.S. and that’s May 28, 2011 AD.
And that’s my final verdict. Period.