The Old Man & the River of Life
By Divas
Today I met my one teacher on the road after almost 20 years.
He used to be a robust man, but that was when Yeats’s “Ere Time transfigured me.”
His frail features reminded me of my dad.
People say that I’ve a very strange relationship with my dad.
If you’d read Dhanush Chandra Gautam’s ‘Ghamka Pailaharu‘, you’ll have some idea on what I’m saying.
In fact, I’ve rivalled with my dad from a very early age.
He’d a short temper, which I also inherited from him.
And he’s a huge influence on me: both positive and negative.
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My dad’s and my ways are very different…and yet we’re so similar.
I know that he wants me to be happy.
And I also want him to be happy.
Last time when dad saw me, he looked at me from top to bottom.
And his otherwise anxious face suddenly beamed up.
And he laughed in his typical ‘ear to ear’ wide grin.
And uttered just one sentence: ‘Hel Gaya…sooner or later, everyone learns to swim.’
‘Hel Gaya’ in Hindi means ‘to swim in deep waters’.
My dad was referring to a childhood incident.
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While in Terai/Madhes, my dad loved to go to a pond or river for swimming.
And I used to follow him. I also wanted to swim like him.
My dad is a good swimmer…he knows how to ‘helnu’ in troubled waters…
In fact, he loved to ‘show off’ his skills.
Once, to our horror, he even entered into the flooding Koshi River.
My mom and her two kids were so anxious.
Thankfully, he came back….as I said he’s a good swimmer, both in the water and in life.
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When my dad would be in deep waters, I’d mimic his swimming skills in shallow waters.
Once, my dad carried me on his shoulder, and took a little deeper.
He caught me on my back, and I just flapped my hands and feet…
But, my dad would never let go of me from his hold…so I’d just flap flap and no more.
Seeing us father and son’s play, a Sadhu who was also bathing nearby us told my dad:
” Arey Chhod do usko. Apane aap Hel Jayega. Don’t hold him. Let go of him. Leave him in the water by himself. Let him drown a little, drink some water, and the yearning for life would automatically make him learn how to swim. That’s the only way how one learns to swim.”
But as I said, my dad was also a coward in some ways…perhaps, all fathers are. So, he told the Sadhu: how can I let go of my son in deep waters…what if he couldn’t swim…what if he drowns?
And the Sadhu gave a really hearty laugh, and said: if you won’t let go of your son, he’ll never learn how to swim.
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Later, dad would recall that incident again and again.
Especially, when he would find me a ‘misfit’ in the society.
He’d say: perhaps, I didn’t let you go of me; therefore you’re not learning how to swim in life.
So, despite the grave differences between us in other matters, I was naturally happy when last time dad gave a big grin and said: Hel Gaya.
